Ok, I'm Losing It !

Brandon finished his math book and Hannah's at a stopping place so we're taking a break from school for a bit. The only *school* thing we're doing will be a project for Thursday's meeting with our homeschool group. We're having an Arizona Statehood day and each of the kids will be presenting their topics, Hannah-State flag, Brandon-State bird, and Jacob-State mineral/rock. I've not had the time to work on the Arizona quilt yet, so we're doing them on posterboard for now, to get it done.

This weekend my nesting urge hit pretty bad. I've been pacifying it up until now by buying a few clothes here and there at the thrift stores. I kept telling myself that I'd wait to buy anything "big" until after we find out about SD, but that was making me even more crazy. All I would keep thinking was *IF* we are moving, there's going to be so much craziness with that, that I don't want to forget to get anything that I need for the baby. Plus, I could see in the midst of the move, going into labor early and not having some stuff I need because we were waiting until we got moved. I know, completely irrational but to a pg woman seems totally sane at the time:) So, all that to say that this weekend we got the baby's bed, carseat/stroller, and breast pump along with a couple of other things. I told hubby that now I can finally RELAX a bit, if the baby were to come tomorrow I could take care of her. That's silly of course, because IF she did come tomorrow she'd be in ICU for awhile, and I'd have time to get everything before she was able to come home, but at least I can feel prepared now:) So, here's my list of baby things that I currently have. Am I forgetting anything???

Bed
Carseat
Stroller
Breastpump
Bottles
Sling
Onesies (undershirt kind)
Sleepers
Dresses for church (NOT necessary, but fun to buy!)
Blankets
Boppy pillow

I guess I still need to get some diapers, burp clothes, diaper bag, hygiene kit, and maybe a little bath robe. Am I forgetting anything else??? It's so hard to remember every little thing that you need when you haven't needed them for 3 years...

We had our church's Missions Conference this week. I was sortof "afraid" to go as last year we felt very much called into the ministry (why me/us, I'll never know?) and didn't know if we'd be convicted about choosing between SD/promotion and going off to Bible college. We were not convicted to drop everything and head off to college, really if anything, we were convicted to "just serve" right where we are, not Phoenix necessarily, but wherever we may be at any given time. One thing that did stick out to me though as I heard the missionaries speak about their "calling" is that they were called very long before they actually entered the ministry. God worked in their hearts for a long time before hand. That was a huge revelation to us because we've always been "told" that if God has called you, you basically just drop everything and go, trusting Him to take care of you along the way. If you don't, you're showing a lack of faith or something. So, we've lived with that hanging over our heads, certain people thinking that we've forgone the ministry for hubby's current career. I've even often wondered if that's what we've done, but now I really don't think so. I can see God using certain things in our life to grow us, first of all, but also to spark our interest or burden our hearts for a certain group/groups of people. Last year's conference I was all excited about foreign missions, mainly because of a phrase that one young man had said, "The people of America HAVE the Word of God right in front of them, they can read it freely, and without restriction, yet they STILL choose to not believe." "People in some countries don't even have a Bible in their own language, they need someone to bring it to them or to be able to learn their language and preach it to them." It struck such a cord in me, but other events this year have turned my focus more towards my family. I have come to a place where I am finally content just being home with my kids and keeping house. I have taken this on for the time being as my "ministry", so to run off to Bible college where I'd end up having to get a job would not fit into that. We've also been incredibly burdened for both Jewish people (hubby's boss is Jewish) as well as Catholics (hubby's brother is Catholic) recently. I can see clearly God using events/people in our life to grow these burdens. So, now I can release that "guilt" knowing that we're still in "God's will" and that He's working on us in His own time, not everyone else's idea of time for us.

Becky, that's exciting about Nichole and David. Do you know when she is due? She's not been emailing me back. Again, not sure what I did, but oh well.

De'Etta, thanks for continuing to pray for us regarding SD. I just want an answer either way at this point!

Jen