Ok, I'm Losing It !

Today was kindof crazy. We spent a good part of the day cleaning house. I sat down to "rest" while Hannah made lunch for herself and the boys (such a sweetie she is!). I ended up falling asleep staring at the Christmas tree. Woke up 2 hours later and scurried to start getting everyone ready to leave for AWANA tonight. We went to Denny's for dinner (bad girl, I know!) and I took Mom with us. I'm now incredibly stressed out.

She's decided that her new job isn't going to pay enough and is looking for another one. I just don't understand WHAT is going on with her. She even mentioned moving back to Washington since she's still in transition. With WHAT money?!?! That's going to fix WHAT??? She was over on Friday and hinting that she was needing to borrow money "just until her new job started". I just didn't say anything. She's not paid back any of the other money that people have lent her, she waited to look for a job even when she promised certain people that she would get one quickly to pay them back, she's not made steps to lower her standard of living so that she can survive and ultimately get ahead, she's waited until she's totally broke to even start looking for a job. Why would I want to lend her money that my husband, who works 60+ hours a week, works HARD for??? Besides, IF I WAS to lend her money, it would be our "Disneyland Christmas" money and that wouldn't be right to do to our kids. Right now I just want to SCREAM!!! I just don't understand! I don't know what to do or how to fix this situation. Do I need to just sit back and let God deal with her and let her pay the consequences for the choices she's making? I JUST DON'T KNOW!!! I do know that I'm so sick of drama. Right now I'm just wishing we were moving already. It was so much nicer to be "removed" from the situation and just be an ear to listen. Now, I'm in the middle of the situation and I'm really not happy about it, in fact, I'm extremely angry and resentful right now. I'm finding it really hard to deal with this correctly. If anyone has ANY advice for me, please throw some my way. I'm at my wit's end....

Jen